cinderella story (?)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

{the dream..}

ok i dun think i want to put it on my blog..
so im putting it here..
today was suppose to go out on a date with laogong...
but end up nv..
sometimes i really think tat
ur games r more important than me..
i cant help but dun feel the importance of me within u..

i was really head over heels
when u asked me out ytd
srsly..
for someone who doesnt like to go out
finally decided to go out just coz of me
i was really overjoyed!
and u finally said u would come over to find me instead
of the usual me coming over to find u
do u noe i was so happy till i could cry
u finally decided to do something for me
but this did not last long..
all u did the whole nite was gaming and gaming..
we did not even plan anything for the date..
do u know i was damn disappointed...
i just wanted to spend the best of my time with u tmr
but u was so caught up with ur games..
i understand u need to play
but wat abt me..
wat can i do..
u keep saying ltr den say..
when is ur ltr sometimes...
till 1 plus u still playing..
it is den tat i noe maybe we really cant go out tmr..
i cried..
coz my dreams gt shattered again..

i had a dream last night...
i explained to mandy
since she asked me
i cant forget abt tat dream..
becoz it really reflected today..
i dun really want to say out everything..
but the conclusion of the dream was tat
i could not go out with laogong at all..
just like today we nv went out on a date..
does tat means we will nv go out.. and just always at his house...

i always had dreams on my life..
maybe its because of watching too much drama
but i always been hving dreams of it
i know those are just dramas
but some things they say inside are so true..
i always believed tat when u love someone
u are willing to sacrifice everything for them
and change everything for them
coz loving somone is about 包容和让对方
and its because u loved tat person
maybe i was wrong to believe tat
coz not matter how much i do tat
i dun think its quite true...
or either is u dun love me alot like i do..
i been changing.. sacrificing..
before..
im always the one who put friends in the first place
always with them and with family
always out outside with them
shopping till i cant...
or just walking abt is fine with me
but i nv liked to be kept in a place for too long
and nv once even if i had someone i like
put them in the first place
because i nv loved anyone so much before..
until i find u
i changed and i dun mind not gg out
just staying at home with u is fine by me
i dun mind me changing..
even though i know i hurt quite alot of people
but as long as u and i are happy
i dun mind wat other might even say...
time and time i let u.. followed ur way..
but now..
i really cant..
not only my dream is shattered
but my hearts is shattered like the pieces are too small to be seen and found
i know im being selfish now..
i just want it my way for once..
can u just let me this time..

without in my life or anywhere...
i find no reason to smile..
its terrifieing when im all alone without u
ur place in my heart is a place no one can take
my friends and family had their place in my heart
everyone hv..
just follow my way can ma...
srsly..
im now frustrated and upset over all these..
u shld know wat im refering to..